What does it mean to be a warrior?

What images evoke when you think of the word warrior? 

Warrior (noun)

1. a person engaged or experienced in warfare; soldier.

2. a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness

For many, when we think of a warrior, an image of a soldier may come to mind.  A brave man or woman, in uniform going to war on a battleground far away.  Or those courageous men and women working on the front line in the emergency services.  Those who run toward danger when many more run far away from it. 

An image that may not cross one’s mind is one of a person living with a chronic illness.

However, words such as warrior, fight, battle, and war have become synonymous in discussions regarding illness and those living with, such conditions. We’re brave in the face of life with a long-term health condition. And we approach the unknown of everyday life with courage, fighting for a semblance of a life.

"When we think of a warrior, we think of those who run toward danger. An image that may not come to mind is that of someone living with a chronic illness." Click To Tweet

It has become a somewhat controversial subject within the chronic illness community, and which has inspired much debate.

The Problem with Words Such As Fighter, Battle and Warrior

Some reject these warlike rhetoric connotations of illness and those who live with them. For many, their conditions are a part of them. A part of them much like the colour of their eyes or the freckles on their skin. To fight the disease, therefore, is much like fighting oneself. And fighting oneself and hence the condition that afflicts our lives soon becomes exhausting and time-consuming.

"To fight the disease is much like fighting oneself. And fighting oneself and hence the condition that afflicts our lives soon becomes exhausting and time-consuming." Click To Tweet

Further, many argue that words such as ‘fight,’ ‘battle’ or ‘war’ are polarising, suggesting that much like their literal meanings, there is a winner and loser. It suggests that if we succumb to the debilitating and often devastating symptoms, it’s because we haven’t fought hard enough. Furthermore, it implies blame upon the person afflicted by the illness.

People voice platitudes such as ‘brave’ to describe our struggles. Although it’s often in an attempt to be supportive, it instead feels patronising, much like being patted on the head like when we were young by distant relatives. In truth, however, we feel far from brave or a warrior. Every day our lives revolve around getting through the day amidst debilitating and distressing symptoms.

"We feel far from being brave or being a warrior. Every day our lives revolve around getting through the day amidst debilitating and distressing symptoms." Click To Tweet

Are We Warriors?

To us, we are not brave, we fight and survive, not because we are fighters or warriors, but because we have no real alternative.

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Wearing my new #necklace today with pride! It reads #warrior which is a word which is controversial in the #chronicillness community with many who do not like or use the word in relation to living with a chronic illness. For many living with illness is not a fight or a war. But recently with the debilitating trembling in the legs, and #chronicpain just getting up every day and doing anything, especially taking up #aeropilates again is a fight. Fighting with my legs and fatigue just to get up and out of bed. Fighting with my legs to stop them from giving way. Fighting for a semblance of a normal life. So yes, living with this neurological disorder often feels like a war and still I am here fighting. I am a #warrior #spoonie #chronicpain #chronicallyawesome #chronicallyillwarrior #chronicillnesswarrior #chronicpainwarrior #jewellery #mantra #chronicillnesslife #chroniclife #FND #neurologicaldisorder #functionalneurologicaldisorder

A post shared by Rhiann Johns (@serenebutterfly) on Nov 15, 2018 at 3:53am PST

After experiencing a prolonged and a crippling flare, however, I am starting to embrace and appreciate the title of being a warrior. Even more so, after a recent trip to the Harry Potter Studio Tour which proved to exacerbate the symptoms.

It was further evidence that I am not normal. That I never will be healthy. I’m in constant pain, constantly dizzy, and a continual trembling sensation consumes my legs. My life consists of numerous falls, many days where I struggle to get out of bed, and plentiful occasions whereby my legs collapse unexpectedly.

Embracing The Warrior Inside

On reflection, I’ve come to realise how much I’m always fighting. And no, I’m not fighting in a war. But I am fighting for my life; fighting for some semblance of normality. We are all fighting in ways that only other warriors can understand. We fight to be able to get out of bed in the mornings, struggle through the days, impeded by pain and fatigue. Fight to be able to get out of the house, and fight to be able to complete the errands that await.

"No, we are not fighting in a war. But we are fighting for our lives; fighting for some semblance of normality." Click To Tweet

Yes, there are days when we are defeated — days when the pain, fatigue and the multitude of other symptoms win the battle on a given day. But still, we do not give up. We may not be able to try again tomorrow, but we don’t surrender to the demon that is our illness. Symptoms such as the dizziness and vertigo make it difficult for me to be able to cope with particular places, but still, I have refused to submit to their hold on my life.

And as much as we fear the symptoms becoming victorious, and becoming defeated by our silent enemies, we never stop trying. We never give up. I am not suggesting that I am a brave or courageous person merely by living with an enduring neurological condition. Being fierce, brave or a warrior does not make you any more likely to beat the disease or the illness that is ravaging inside your body.

The Comfort that Being A Warrior Has

It does, however, help you get through the difficult times. It helps you survive when it seems that you can no longer bear the pain any longer. I attempt those places that provoke such attacks, and sometimes I am unsuccessful, but still, I try again. It brings comfort, the knowledge that if we are fighting against the impact, the condition has, then we are in control and not that which afflicts us. And that is why I bought the necklace. It is a reminder of the many victories I have achieved despite the limitations imposed due to my various symptoms. It is a constant reminder of my strength in the face of illness.

"My warrior necklace is a reminder of the many victories I have achieved despite the limitations imposed by my symptoms. It is a constant reminder of my strength in the face of illness." Click To Tweet

However, it is a motivator. Life with a neurological condition presents a series of challenges to overcome. If we are to prescribe the ‘fight’ metaphor to life with an illness, it can give both direction and motivation. If winning is the ultimate objective, then striving for a triumph over adversity can provide us with the drive to wake up each new day and live with the presence of such monotonous symptoms all over again.

And that is what we do every day. We fight to live. We are warriors.