A Christmas Wish-List of A Chronically Ill Girl

Sheryl from A Chronic Voice, as well as sharing her own stories and lessons with chronic illness. Sheryl is an excellent support to other bloggers and writers living with illness and chronic pain. One such way is through monthly link-up parties whereby bloggers and writers share their stories through given prompts. In keeping with the festive season, December’s post will be about what I would like for Christmas as someone living with a chronic illness.

Ah, the festive season is finally among us. I am sure everyone is busy getting everything ready before the arrival of Christmas Day. The shops are bustling as we search for that perfect present that exquisitely reflects those crucial people in our lives.

Also, it is the time of year when we note everything that we would like to receive from those closest to us. Those material items that we most sought after, in the hopes that they will somehow improve our lives. But when living with a chronic illness, like I am, we begin to understand what matters most in life. And begin to appreciate the triviality and fickleness of such material possessions.

"But when living with a chronic illness, like I am, we begin to understand what matters most in life. And begin to appreciate the triviality and fickleness of such material possessions." Click To Tweet

The truth is, that if we could swap all those Christmas presents that are wrapped under the tree in exchange for everything that chronic illness has taken away, then we would do so in a heartbeat. The most welcome presents being those which cannot be wrapped and placed under the Christmas tree.

If such a person, like Father Christmas, actually existed then surely the most considerable request on our wish-list would be the restoration of our health and everything else it has taken with it.

"The truth is, that if we could swap all those presents wrapped under the Christmas tree for everything that chronic illness has taken away, then we would do so in a heartbeat." Click To Tweet

Living with the neurological disorder, FND has taken so much away from me. If such wishes were granted these are what I would wish for Christmas:

For Christmas, I Would Like Confidence

A loss of self-confidence is one of many hallmarks of living with a chronic illness. The persistent and debilitating symptoms are beginning to erode our already fragile confidence.

So occurs, a loss of confidence in every facet of our life; from going out, making everyday decisions and most of all, trusting ourselves and our frail bodies. And as a result, we begin to establish a comfort zone, very often our homes – a place where we feel safe and secure despite the extremely debilitating symptoms.

Going beyond our established comfort zone, therefore, evokes fear and anxiety. And there is nothing more that evokes fear and anxiety than travelling.

"So occurs, a loss of confidence in every facet of our life; from going out, making everyday decisions and most of all, trusting ourselves and our frail bodies." Click To Tweet

Although travelling induces excitement for many, for those of us living with chronic illness, it can have the opposite effect. For nothing, makes us go out of our comfort zones quite like travelling.

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Being away from the familiar and the coping strategies that help us get through the difficult days can be scary. When once we could travel with confidence, doing so after a diagnosis of a chronic illness now only provokes apprehension and worry.

"When once we could travel with confidence, doing so after a diagnosis of a chronic illness now only provokes apprehension and worry." Click To Tweet

Travelling hasn’t been on the cards this year, but a trip away is forthcoming for next October. At the time of booking, there was excitement and anticipation. But as I have been experiencing worsening symptoms as of late, my confidence has plummeted. As a result, the thought of travelling and being away from my comfort zone fills me with dread and anxiety.

So, if it were so possible, I would wish for confidence for Christmas. Confidence and self-belief to help with travelling alongside the symptoms and consequences FND bestow upon me.

All I Want For Christmas Is Meaningful and Lasting Friendships

For me, the best part of Christmas is spending time with loved ones. And even better is the time spent visiting, spending time with and bonding with members of the family whom we may not get to see during the rest of the year.

It means so much to me as someone living with a chronic illness, loneliness and isolation have become part of my life as much as the condition has. As a result, much of the time is spent inside the same four walls, day in and day out, and often alone.

"Loneliness and isolation have become part of my life as much as the condition has. As a result, much of the time is spent inside the same four walls, day in and day out, and often alone." Click To Tweet

One Christmas wish, therefore, would be to find deep and meaningful friendships with people I can be myself with, without judgement. To spend time with like-minded people, and bonding over shared interests.

All I Want For Christmas Is Warmth!

This morning as the cold and rain hit me as I stepped outside, oh how I wished for warmth.

The Winter months, with its searing cold temperatures and lashings of heavy rain, can be difficult for this living with chronic illness and chronic pain. Why? Because such conditions increase the severity of many symptoms associated with chronic illness, and especially that of chronic pain.

And now as the freezing temperatures and icy cold rain has seeped right into my bones, I long and wish for warmth!

All I Want Is To Be Able to Cope

Recently has been a tumultuous time in regards to my health and life alongside FND. Everything has and feels like a struggle. Life lately has felt like it has been about merely surviving instead of living. But I don’t want my life to be like this. I want to live and to thrive.

Oh, how I wish that there was a manual for living with this condition. A guidebook for tried and tested coping strategies for living with this condition which stubbornly refuses to leave. For often, the coping strategies that once worked, for some unknown reason no longer do and my already weak legs are scrambling underneath the deep water in a bid to keep me afloat.

"Oh, how I wish that there was a manual for living with this condition. A guidebook for tried and tested coping strategies for living with this condition which stubbornly refuses to leave." Click To Tweet

To help keep me afloat instead of sinking below into the depths of despair and continued suffering. My wish for Christmas would, therefore, be appropriate coping strategies, those that work and will help to live and not just survive.

And Most of All I Want Is an Ending

Most of all, if we were all honest, the biggest Christmas wish of all would be the ending of the illnesses that continually impinges on our lives. The eradication of every symptom that accompanies it, having a profound effect on every facet of our lives.

"Most of all, if we were all honest, the biggest Christmas wish of all would be the ending of the illnesses that continually impinges on our lives." Click To Tweet

Unfortunately, however, life isn’t a Disney movie, and life rarely offers a happily ever after. There are no fairy godmothers or those with magical powers that can grant us this one wish.

I suppose, therefore, it is up to us, to find ways to live our lives in harmony with chronic illness. To discover effective coping strategies for ourselves and that help us to live and endure everything that pain and illness throw at us every day. And especially it is up to us to write our own story and to make our own ending.

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