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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based upon prompts given.

Today’s prompt reads as follows:

Summer Lovin’…Summer is coming up.  What plans do you have?  Any family vacation?  What do you look forward to in Summer 2014?

I have to admit that I currently have no plans for the Summer of 2014.  Why is this?  For starters, in my opinion making long-term plans whilst living with a neurological condition or chronic illness like myself, can be extremely difficult.  It can be extremely difficult because everyday is an unknown.  We do not know what each day will bring; how severe the symptoms associated with our condition and how we will feel from one day to the next.  Sometimes especially when experiencing a bad flare in our conditions, we do not know how we will feel one minute from the next even, and so therefore making plans can often be problematic as there is always the worry that we will need to cancel.  And cancelling plans not only disappoints those with whom we have made those plans with, but also leads to disappointment for ourselves.  You know that phrase “We plan, and God laughs” – never has a saying been so true for life with chronic illness, except that it is our bodies that laugh and not God.

"People plan and God laughs" or the Spoonie equivalent is "We plan and our bodies laugh!"
“People plan and God laughs” or the Spoonie equivalent is “We plan and our bodies laugh!”

By the time that Summer arrives of course, I would have already have been on my holiday.  The first holiday in fact that I have had for several years.  At this very moment, I am a mixture of being very excited but also very nervous.  Living with my neurological condition can be very difficult, and therefore I realise that going on holiday may at times be very difficult due to my symptoms such as dizziness.  However, as I am going on a cruise, it has a variety of benefits, such as being able to set the pace for the holiday itself.  I can be as active or passive as I want; and in addition if I suddenly become unwell, I can simply head straight back to our cabin without the hassle of travelling back to a hotel from the beach or from somewhere further afield.  Also, being on a cruise ship could also lead to more independence away from my parents as I can (with hope) wheel myself around to areas of the ship where the activities that I want to take part in are held.  For example, I have learnt that often cruise liners hold art and craft sessions, such as lessons in jewellery making or scrapbooking and so as I have found art and crafts to be useful in distracting myself from symptoms such as dizziness and chronic pain and so therefore may be beneficial for me to attend such onboard activities.

I also know that it may take a while to recover from the cruise and from all of the added activity that comes from being on holiday.  The start of the Summer therefore may be recovering from the holiday.  Unfortunately, the Summer may also see more hospital appointments as am waiting for an MRI to be conducted before seeing my consultant again.

Although I don’t have definite plans for this Summer, I do hope however for more lovely, relaxing and fun days out with my carer and enjoy the most of the warm weather.  Day outs to nearby tourist attractions, days out shopping or simply a trip to our favourite coffee shop, I don’t really mind as long as the Summer isn’t spent in my house with only my symptoms for company.

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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based upon prompts given.

Today’s prompt reads as follows:

Dear 16-year-old-me….Write a letter to yourself at age 16.  What would you tell yourself?  What would you make your younger self aware of?

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This particular post is one which is both extremely personal and difficult to write.  Life for me was extremely difficult for me when I was 16 – I didn’t really have any friends, I was experiencing depression and anxiety as well as living with symptoms of the neurological condition even though it was undiagnosed at that time.   As you can imagine was not a very happy time for me at all.  Now, I look back at that time in my life,  I realise how much I have learnt about myself and life in general since then and furthermore how far I have come since that difficult and dark period in my life.  And, so there are so many lessons that I would share to my 16 year-old self, given the chance.  Here is a letter that I have written to my younger self.

Dear Rhiann,

You may not believe this but this letter is from you but a you from the future. Yes, that is right, as I am writing this I am actually 28 years of age and the year is 2014.  I am actually writing this letter just less than two weeks before going on a cruise around the Mediterranean – yes, that’s right – I (and the future you!) will finally get to experience the beauty and history of Italy; a place which I remember you have always wanted to visit.  So, that is one lesson that I would like to share with you – that although you may not realise it now, and despite how life is difficult for you right now, there are still many good things that are and will happen during our lifetime.  That even what may seem completely impossible right now, because of the way you are feeling and the severity of the dizziness that I know you are experiencing, the impossible is still within your grasp.  The trip may not be easy, and will at times be extremely difficult but I promise it will be so worth it.

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I know you are going through a very painful and difficult time in your life, having formally been diagnosed with depression, and having to start taking antidepressants a couple of days before your sweet sixteen.  Writing this, I remember how sick they made me feel for the first couple of weeks, only being able to eat very little before I felt full.  I also remember the incredible loneliness I felt back then, especially during school, having no friends and walking around in a daze, trying to pass the time until lessons started back after lunch.  But I want to reassure you and let you know that things will get better and there is so much more in life for you to enjoy and experience.

I also wanted to share a secret with you – the dizziness that you are experiencing?  It’s not in your head, and you are certainly not imagining it as some doctors have led you to believe.  Because of the rules of letting me write this letter to you, I am not allowed to tell you what is wrong, but there is an explanation for it.  So, please don’t listen when the doctor’s keep telling you that the dizziness is psychological and a result of an anxiety disorder.  Advocate and fight for yourself and your health instead of being timid and compliant like we are, as well as putting doctors on some sort of pedestal because they have had professional training and  “they know what they are talking about”.   One thing that I have learnt through years of navigating the medical field is that doctors are not always right; they are not infallible and they make mistakes.  Listen to that voice inside your head that knows that something is wrong and don’t give up on finding answers to the reason behind the dizziness.  Please keep fighting for answers.   And don’t give up and lose hope that the answers will never come, because they do – it might take some years in the future but they do come.  Trust me.

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I cannot say it isn’t going to be easy, or that it’s going to get better and you are going to live a full and normal life, but I believe that you are stronger than you think you are…and you can handle a lot more than you think you can…

And the loneliness you feel – it will go away, you are going to find people who will accept you for who you are, friends that are going to support you in times of need.  I remember at sixteen being teased and ridiculed for who you  are– just remember that no-one has a right to make you feel that you need to apologise for who you are.  Don’t be ashamed to be yourself… You will find people who love you for exactly who you are and make you feel important and valued.  It won’t happen overnight but those people are there waiting to find a wonderful friend like you are.

Before I forget  – the heaviness and stiffness that you feel in your legs?  The feelings that have been with you, since you can remember?  Well, those feelings, they aren’t normal and isn’t something that everyone experiences…Maybe mention this at your next doctor’s appointment.

And good luck for your GCSE exams in a couple of months – not that you need it, you are going to do just great.  You probably won’t believe it, but you will.  Stop doubting yourself.  Next stop will be your A-Levels, and then who know maybe even to University 😉

Take care of yourself and cherish this letter – keep it as a reminder for hope and the knowledge that life will get better and that everything is going to be OK.

From

Rhiann (aged 28)

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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based upon prompts given.

Today’s prompt reads as follows:

Word Cloud…Make a word cloud or tree with list of words that come to mind  when you think about your blog, health, or interests.  Use a thesaurus to make the branches of your “tree” extended further.

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This is the Word Cloud that I have created.  It contains words that are related to my condition, the challenges and problems that the condition has placed upon my life, and other words that relates to health and living with a chronic illness.  It also contains words that have helped me through my darkest days living with a neurological condition – the social media platforms and the people that have supported me, the friends I have made along the way.

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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based upon prompts given.

Today’s prompt reads as follows:

Health Activist Choice Day 2!…Write about whatever you like

This past weekend saw the annual celebration of Easter.  And it was also a long Bank Holiday Weekend.  A lot of people revel in these long Bank Holiday weekends – it often means a long weekend off from work, and time spent with family.  Many people even go away on these Bank Holiday weekends, perhaps visiting family or going on day trips with family and friends such as the beach if the weather permits.  However, both my parents usually work on Bank Holidays, and therefore, this Bank Holiday I will once again be home alone.  Friends and other members of the family all have their own lives and plans for such weekend and so don’t like to impose; or often I am in too much pain, or the weakness and trembling in the legs is so bad that I am unable to go out anyway.

Bank Holidays are a time where loneliness and isolation feels more evident when living with chronic illness
Bank Holidays are a time where loneliness and isolation feels more evident when living with chronic illness

It can be so difficult when living with a chronic illness feeling isolated from the world.  In addition, it hurts when you see or hear other people’s plans or stories for Bank Holiday weekends and you are once again stuck inside the house because of chronic illness.  It is not only miserable to be stuck inside during the Spring and Summer Bank Holidays when the weather is beautiful and warm, but it is also incredibly miserable as there is never anything on television.  The usual choices on television are films which you have already seen several times, repeats of old episodes of various television programmes and trashy reality shows.

It is on days like these that the blues can set in especially if symptoms are severe and persistent.  So, the only thing to do is to make your own fun!  But what some ideas of what you can do on such days when symptoms are bad and you need to make your own fun because of one reason or another?  Here are some ideas that you can do on such days when energy levels are low but you also want some fun:

  • Movie Marathon: Think of your favourite actor or actress.  Who is it?  Sandra Bullock?  Tom Cruise?  Julia Roberts?  Whoever it may be, consider having a movie marathon of all the films that they have starred in!  Perhaps you haven’t got a favourite actor or actress; in this case you can watch films from your favourite movie genre.  For example, I love romantic comedies – they are fun, girlie and more often than not have a sweet, happy ending.  Perfect on days when you may be feeling blue.  So, get the DVD player ready, grab the popcorn and settle down on the sofa for some feel-good  entertainment
  • Pamper Yourself and give yourself some Love!: In my opinion, there is no better tonic when feeling low then to give yourself some well-deserved pampering!  Especially when it has been a tough time dealing with chronic illness, and you have begun feeling blue.  Have a lovely warm bubble bath using your favourite bath scent – for relaxing try lavender for example.  Or paint your nails a wild and bright colour.  I usually paint my nails a bright and colourful colour whenever I am feeling low; for some reason it cheers me up and puts a smile on my face no matter how bad I am feeling.  I have had several bad falls recently so I also like to give my poor, bruised legs a pampering my applying soft and comforting body lotion.  If you have some friends around for a night-in, you can even give yourselves facial masks whilst watching some films together – double the feel-good fun!
  • Take a Virtual Tour of a Museum: I know a lot of people love to visit a museum on Bank Holidays with their family or friends.  I love history myself and I love visiting museums to learn of a different period of history.  However, as energy is very often low due to chronic illness then walking around a crowded museum may be too much to handle.  The solution?  Take a virtual tour of a museum that you may have never been before.  There are plenty of choices around; for example the British Museum offers a range of different virtual tours on a variety of different topics in history.  Or if you are more interested in art then the Louvre has virtual tours on their website.  Try searching ‘virtual tours’ and see what is available and find a virtual tour which suits your interests.
  • Get Creative!: In my experience of making cards, being creative whether it be making decopauge cards like myself, or painting, drawing or writing can be extremely cathartic and can also be good at distracting yourself from pain, boredom or feelings of depression that can often accompany being alone or unwell. So, whether you are an artist or a writer, try getting creative the next time you are bored, or suffering from severe symptoms.  It’s cheap, and something you can even do from your bed if needed.
  • Enjoy your garden: When you are unable to get out of the house and enjoy a Bank Holiday at the seaside, for example, it does not mean you have to stay indoors feeling miserable.  Try sitting out in your garden, enjoying the sunshine whilst reading a book or listening to your favourite music on an MP3 player.  If stuck in bed, however, there are meditation exercises that involves you imagining that you are in a beautiful garden, beach or in your favourite place.  Meditation or relaxation exercises are an effective tool against chronic pain, depression and anxiety.  In my opinion, practicing such techniques are well-worth the time when living with chronic health problems.
  • Learn something new: This was suggested by someone I know via social media.  I had no idea that the internet allows you the opportunity to enrol in free online courses! I think this is such a brilliant thing for anyone struggling with chronic illness or disability; as often because of our conditions we are unable to get out of the house.  Many individuals with chronic health problems also do not work and as a result do not have the funds to access courses that charge and are often very expensive, however, there are a number of websites online that allow you to enrol on courses which are completely free!  So, if as a result of your chronic illness you are stuck in the house a lot of the time on your own and find that you become bored, then this is a perfect opportunity to learn something you have always wanted to take up but have been unable to because of the lack of money or because you are unable to leave the house due to illness. It may also be a great opportunity to distract yourself from pain, fatigue and other symptoms that affect your life.
  • Read a book: This is usually the first activity that I go to when alone, bored and feeling unwell.  Its cheap and does not require a lot of energy and thanks to my Kindle I have a number of books I have access too within easy reach.  In my experience, when you are engrossed in a book that interests you, then time quickly passes.

So those are some of my tips to pass the time; distract yourself from boredom, pain and other severe symptoms.  What other things that you can come up with to entertain yourself when alone in the house or just when you are too unwell to go out?  As ever I would love to hear your suggestions and thoughts so please feel free to add any comments below…

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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based upon prompts given.

Today’s prompt reads as follows:

Reflection…This is a day to reflect.  For WEGO Health family, we reflect on those who lost loved ones in the Boston Marathon Bombing last year and hope for a bright future for those impacted.  Reflect on your journey to this day, what are your thoughts and hopes for the future

I am writing this post whilst lying in bed.  It’s yet another bad day thanks to the neurological condition that I live with; it’s another day in which my legs are incredibly weak, and the trembling in them is severe that I am unable to walk far and so I am confined to my bed.  It’s days like this which we are able to reflect – to reflect on the past, present as well as what might have been and dream of a brighter future despite illness.

I was a typical girly girl when I was a child. I loved the fairy tales and the idea of a happily ever after.  That’s what I thought would happen when I grew up – that I would meet my own prince, get married and then live happily ever after.  I had a very naive and child-like view of the world, and suppose my parents shielded me from the horrors and sadness that can very often exist in the world.  Never did I imagine that I would live a life, like the one I am stuck in, I suppose that no one imagines a life with a neurological condition or any chronic illness.  But that was the hand that I was dealt.

I obviously grew up, and developed enough self-esteem to realise that my happiness was not dependant on some hypothetical Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet.  Instead, I dreamt of going to university in order to establish a career for myself.  I eventually decided to study Psychology with the aim of finding work to help other people in need of support and understanding.

However, this particular dream was not to be, and instead of graduating with honours from University and entering the world of employment or even further study, my symptoms became worse.  As an alternative to attending job interviews, my life became all about attending doctors’ and hospital appointments, to attempt to find the cause of my worsening symptoms.  It was to be a long and difficult journey on the road to diagnosis; for example gaining the original referral to see a neurological consultant was a battle as the GP was adamant that my symptoms could be explained by the anxiety disorder I had originally been diagnosed with.  That and long waiting lists to see consultants and for tests to be conducted.

Now, I have a definitive diagnosis.  It might not be what I wanted or expected and the knowledge that the condition was a life-long one was both a shock and a disappointment – knowing that the symptoms may get progressively worse, and the knowledge that the symptoms may prevent from me from ever being to work.  Yes, the journey has been difficult and the symptoms have become worse but on reflection I have learnt that despite being diagnosed with an untreatable and long-term neurological condition does not mean the end of my life.  Life indeed does go on, and despite not being able to work I have discovered that I can still have a purpose in life and help others.  I am involved with a new community for those affected by neurological conditions called Neuro Nula  and am excited by not only the work that I have already done for them, but for the work in the future; to develop the website further and to help others who are facing similar situations that I once faced after being diagnosed. To make someone realise that they are not alone like I once felt.

On reflection I have also learnt that despite living with a neurological condition does not mean that I cannot accomplish everything that I dreamt of as a child.  The journey towards those dreams may look different  and may also take longer but they are still achievable.  This is summed up brilliantly by a quote that I came across on Twitter:

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