Category

Chronic Illness

Category

Hello, readers new and old – hope you are all well.

Or much better than I have been lately anyway – it really hasn’t been a great time for me, with legs giving way much more, becoming weaker, even leaving me in bed for a whole day a couple of weekends ago.  Whenever I attempted to stand, my legs would just collapse from under me…

A lot of people, would think it would be great to spend a whole day in bed, not doing anything – no chores, nothing instead spending the day watching TV, films or listening to music.  However, let me tell you the reality of it – it is so boring being stuck in a bed, I would much rather be doing something much more constructive than watching endless episodes of CSI, despite it being one of my favourite shows.

On topic, I was recently reading an excellent blog post regarding a person’s experience of a condition in which she describes as having ‘many voices’ and in which the community of people with the same condition is large – each sharing their own personal experiences of living with a chronic illness.

And that got me thinking of my condition – long-standing brain stem lesion and spastic paraparesis.  To search information about it, is extremely difficult – most being medical journals, to difficult to understand for those without a medical degree!  And the big fact that I have not met one single other person with either diagnosis.

Many of the information that can be found regarding my condition are those usually found on websites about Multiple Sclerosis, as MS can present with brain stem lesions, and spasticity of which I suffer is a common complaint within the MS Community.

However, I do not have MS, so therefore am unable to really approach MS organisations for support and information.  Near to me is an organisation for people with brain injuries called Headway, however many of the case studies that I have read suggests that the organisation provides support and help for those with acquired brain injuries – usually those sustained in adulthood as a result of an accident or trauma.

So where do I turn for help and support with my condition? I feel as if I am one person, on my own living with this condition with nowhere to turn, or for people to listen and understand just exactly what I am living with day-to-day…

Image: http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/audiencecouncil/sites/your-voice/

 

You think that you know, but you have no idea what living with my condition is like.  People make snap judgements based upon many different factors such as appearance, body language, posture and so on.

So, I have decided to write a post regarding misconceptions regarding my condition and my life that people may have, inspired by WEGO Health’s ‘True Life Tuesday Blog Party’.

The first misconception has that as I appear ‘normal’, I cannot possibly be disabled.  However hidden disabilities do exist and exist in many different forms – such as mental illness, learning disabilities and many neurological conditions such as my own.  Hidden disabilities can create significant limitations for the person, the only difference is that we cannot see these limitations and barriers as we can with those who are blind in a wheelchair.  Take my case for example, the weakness in my legs are not visible to the outside world, but it does and affects me greatly such as not being able to stand for very long and experiencing many falls daily.

Image: BBC News

“Your dizziness is caused by anxiety; you just need to learn to relax” is one misconception that I have experienced by many people over the years – especially by doctors.  However, although anxiety does play a part as I often felt anxious about the dizziness, which only seemed to magnify the unpleasant symptom even more.  Although relaxation and breathing exercises did help with feeling calmer and less anxious, it did not help regarding the dizziness, and was still very much present in my daily life.  As anxiety and other psychological problems was not the root cause of the dizziness but instead a by-product of it.

“You are constantly falling over, you must be drunk” is another misconception that many people may think when seeing me, as I am often swaying or stumbling and falling over, many symptoms people exhibit when intoxicated.  However, with neurological disorders such as mine and many others, the unsteadiness and constant imbalance is caused by the lesions that exist within my brain stem – causing dizziness, problems with balance, and in my case stiffness and weakness in my legs.  The spastic paraparesis often causes great difficulty with walking, especially when they are weak, as they often just give way from under me with no warning causing falls.

“You don’t look sick, you must be feeling fine” is one which I am sure many people with hidden disabilities or invisible illnesses such as mine often experience in daily life.  People make judgements based solely on appearance – but just because someone may look fine doesn’t necessarily mean they feel good on the inside.  Due to the long-standing brain stem lesion, I experience constant dizziness with frequent episodes of vertigo and consequently often feel very unwell, but as a young woman, when going out I don’t want to look ill, so I use make-up to hide the dark circles under my eyes – to give me a natural healthy glow.

And  my last misconception is based upon glances I receive when I am out using my crutch.  These stares and looks seem to say “Why the hell are you using that crutch, you don’t seem to need it”.  Again, as I am not exhibiting a broken leg or some other sign of injury, I couldn’t possibly need to use an aid such as a crutch, to look at me I look perfectly  ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’ but hiding deep inside are lesions causing imbalance and weakness in legs and so on, often leading to stumbles and falls, and using a crutch makes me feel much more stable when walking.

So, these are the misconceptions regarding my health condition.  Try and imagine a person exhibiting some of the symptoms I experience, are these any other misconceptions or judgements that you might make regarding that person? Would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions…

Image: http://abledis.com

I think I have previously mentioned that I was taking part in a fantastic project entitled the ‘12-12-12 Project: 12 Month, 12 Journeys, 12 Lessons‘ over at my great friend Marissa’s blog, Abledis.

As part of the project, Marissa featured my condition – long-standing brain stem lesion and spastic paraparesis on her website, learning all about it, and the effects it has on my life and so on.  Also, Marissa asked me to complete a podcast interview with her about my health condition and life, which we completed last week, and is now up for everyone to hear.  You can find the podcast here:

April Podcast Interview: Rhiann Johns

And there was also a special guest featured!!  Who? You’ll have to listen to find out!!

Welcome to the very last post of the WEGO Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge – a time to reflect on the last thirty days, writing everyday based on prompts provided.

I personally would like to thank WEGO Health for the opportunity to take part in the ’30 Days, 30 Posts’ Challenge.  The prompts provided allowed me the opportunity to think about my condition and the challenges associated with it in more detail and also made me think about my health, and the difficulties I face in more detail, and how I may be able to overcome them.  The HAWMC also challenged me as a writer, writing in different styles that I may not have used otherwise, and the ‘fun’ prompts such as the Haiku poem or the madlib was completely different to anything I have tried before.

My favourite prompt?  My favourite prompt was those using images to convey my health condition and health focus.  It was difficult at first, as my particular condition is ‘invisible’ but I found clever ways to portray the neurological condition I live with.  The Word Cloud was really fun, just choosing particular words or phrases that I associate with my condition, and the word cloud itself looked amazing.

The most difficult prompt?  One of them which I found most challenging, emotionally and bringing up painful memories from the past was the ‘Dear 16-year-old-me‘, although I found the Health Mascot also challenging, particularly as I am unable to draw, which my efforts probably showed!

Which ideas will you reuse? I am not sure whether I will reuse any of them, as I like to write fresh ideas or themes, so am not sure whether I would be able to reuse any of the prompts giving them a fresh perspective but will give the bonus prompts a go.

Who was your favourite fellow blogger?  I have several one that I have followed and read all of their prompts that they have written, finding them interesting, informative and inspirational.  One of them is Theresa, a close friend of mine, and as we have similar problems such as living with chronic dizziness I was really able to relate to her posts.  Another favourite is Katina, at Butterfly Lessons, a blog about ‘living a fabulous life with lupus’, a really interesting and uplifting read and love the positivity the blog exudes.  And my third favourite is Kim over at Hope Whispers, about living with a rare liver disease called Budd-Chiari Syndrome – another really positive and uplifting blog, and really highlights the importance of organ donation and is also really interesting reading about other illnesses or conditions different from your own.

Thanks again WEGO Health for the opportunity to take part in the ’30 Days, 30 Posts’ Challenge – I have enjoyed every minute, enjoyed even the prompts that challenged me.  And thank you for the opportunity to not only write about different aspects of my health condition but also the opportunity to write about other aspects of my life – after all we are not defined by our health conditions, illnesses or disabilities.  And thank you for challenging  and pushing me as a writer, maybe I have even become a better writer because of it.  Even though I have found some aspects and prompts very difficult, I DID IT!!!

Welcome again everyone to the last official post for the WEGO Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge!!  It has been an incredible 30 days and 30 posts which have really pushed and challenged me as a writer.  The last prompt for the 2012 ’30 Days, 30 Posts’ Challenge reads as follows:

Word Cloud…Make a word cloud or tree with a list of words that come to mind when you think about your blog, health, or interests.  Use a thesauras to make the branches of your “tree” extend further.  http://www.wordle.net/

This is a ‘Word Cloud’ of me and my life – and includes those words associated with my condition (Long-Standing Brain Stem Lesion and Spastic Paraparesis), the symptoms associated with my condition (dizziness, vertigo, spasticity, weakness in legs, visual disturbances, the falls and so on).  Also included are words associated with certain triggers that I find make the symptoms worse (flashing lights, strobe lights) and other words I associate with my condition (e.g. neurological, untreatable, hidden disability, invisible illness).  And those, like myself it is important to remember that we are not just our disability or condition and we are not defined by it so I have included words associated with my interests and me personally (e.g. BSc, Psychology, degree, reading, writing, journal, films, music, dramas, CSI, Grey’s Anatomy, Jodi Picoult).

If you were to make a Word Cloud what words would you include to represent your condition, or your life?

Again feel free to leave any comments and thoughts you have about the post or the blog in general.

Tomorrow will be a reflection and recap on the HAWMC and will be the last post of the challenge for 2012!

Pin It