Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists. Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based upon prompts given.
Today’s prompt reads as follows:
Write a letter to your condition – what do you want to get off your chest?
Unfortunately, today I am feeling particularly unwell, and am not feeling up to writing. So, instead I have decided to republish an older post, which was along the same line as today’s post, which asked us to write a letter to our condition.
Dear brain lesion,
I am not sure quite what to say to you, as I have never written a letter like this before but I will try my best.
I find you very odd; I experience so many fluctuations in my condition – how I feel, and the severity in which I experience the symptoms that you cause me. These fluctuations not only change day by day, but can also change hour from hour, or even minute by minute!! And it’s these fluctuations that stops me from leading a normal life. This condition does not allow me the ability to make plans for nights out with friends, or holidays or full days out, as I never know how I will feel on that particular day, or even I am having a rare ‘good’ day, I have no knowledge whether it will remain that way, or if I will be taken ill sometime during the trip.
Living with you day-to-day is hard, and it’s particularly hard when questions are raised by others about you. You are rare, and not understood, even doctors can be baffled by you. This then causes the mammoth task of trying to explain you – what you are, how you affect me and so on. I would wish no chronic illness on anyone, but one which is especially difficult as you are is particularly hard to deal with. The loneliness and isolation that you cause, can often be overwhelming; no one can understand exactly how I feel, or what it is exactly like living with you. There are no support groups for people like me, living with you, no friends who I can call on when times are tough and I really need to vent; I have several confidantes – some online, some I can see in real life, but still no one that can just get ‘you’ and how you treat me; how you affect me.
You have made me your victim, from something that I cannot escape. Never will I escape you; you live deep within me, deep within my brain, there will you be there forever. But I will not let you win, I will not let you beat me, and I will be happy despite you, that I am determined of. Because of you, I have found inner strength, have found things that I am good at, and have found ways in which I can help others and participate in social activities and pastimes. Despite you, I have found friends whom I can talk to and despite the problems you cause, they like me for who I am, and look beyond my imperfections.
I may not be able to beat you, but because of you, I am stronger than I have realised; have made me aware that I can overcome certain obstacles and overcome challenges that come within my path. And I will not let you beat me – all the obstacles and challenges that you present , I will overcome; find my own path into achieving everything that I wish to. I am hoping to go on holiday, possibly on a cruise, and I am determined not to let you beat me – I will have a good time despite you.
And for that I thank you.
Rhiann x
